Social Anxiety as a Mother

Social Anxiety As a Mother

Social Anxiety as a Mother 

Before I even was a mother, I had social anxiety. I didn’t know it at the time but I’ve had it as long as I remember. When I was younger I had a hard time talking with other people. I was known as the shy girl in my classes.

I remember one time when I was in high school I broke down and cried because I didn’t want to introduce myself to the class. So embarrassing! Just typing this up is making me blush. Haha.

Whenever my mom planned events for me whether it was a graduation party or my wedding reception, she made me go in front of the whole party and say “Thank you for coming.” or something along those lines. I was scared every time I did that. It wasn’t that I was ungrateful, I just didn’t like the attention on me.

I also had trouble going out anywhere by myself. I needed to have my brothers or my husband with me when going to the store for anything. There were things in my life where of course I had to do things on my own but if I had the opportunity, I always had someone with me.

If I am out with friends, I am always quiet and only talk when someone addresses me. I am afraid that if I say anything, it’s going to be judged or I’ll say something dumb. So I just keep quiet. I know it sounds silly but that’s how it made me feel.

Dealing With Social Anxiety as a Mom

I guess this is why I love blogging so much because I am able to express myself without that physical social environment.

Now I am a mother and things have really changed since then. The social anxiety is still there but having my daughter has helped me through it even though it can be so hard at times.

There will be times where we need to go to the store and I have to pray before going out the door because I am just scared of what might happen because babies and toddlers can be so unpredictable.

When my daughter throws a tantrum, I feel like all eyes are on me as I try to diffuse the situation. I try my best to focus only on her and get to the root of the problem to why she is upset. Sometimes I just get extremely overwhelmed and have to leave a place immediately before I break down. 

Another thing I don’t like to do is eat out at restaurants. Just like I mentioned toddlers can be unpredictable. I honestly prefer to just go through the drive-thru or cook at home.

Trying not to let my social anxiety get the best of me 

Despite all of that, my daughter is the one who pushes me to get out of the house because I know she needs that time outside. I have to do it for her. I would hate for my social anxiety to be the cause of her not being interested in the outdoors and playing in the sun, meeting other kids her age, or going out in general.

But I am working on it. I am trying.

Sometimes that’s all you can do is try. I feel as though things will get better when she gets older. When breastfeeding my daughter, for example, I did better than I thought I would in public because of that strong love of doing what is best for my baby girl.

Related: Shy while Breastfeeding in Public

That’s my motivating factor when it all comes down to it. I just hope to continue to pray and try.

Does this relate to any of you mamas? How do you deal with your social anxiety as a mom?

Social Anxiety as a Mother Pin

31 thoughts on “Social Anxiety as a Mother

  1. I totally understand your feelings around this! I, too have always had social anxiety, and as a mom, I feel like it’s gone to a whole other level. I think it’s hard too knowing how moms can be judged. What’s helped me is knowing that the more I get my daughter used to certain surroundings, the easier it will become on both of us.

  2. I’ve had many moments in my life in which I just prefer to be removed from other people. Then, when in a small group, I become more social. It really depends on how well I know someone or the environment I’m in. I do meet a lot of people through my kids and their activities.

    1. Yeah, that is sometimes true with me. I have been meeting others through my kids as well. It helps a bit.

  3. Love does make you stronger!!
    You go girl…! I did develop social anxiety and panic disorder after having two boys very close together but they are the reason I overcame it all. Completely relateable

  4. I can definitely relate. I would get so sick to my stomach when I had to speak in front of people in school. I still blush a lot and get anxiety when all eyes are on me. My kids have helped me overcome a lot of this. Like you, they are my motivating factor. I do things for them, even when it’s hard. Thank you for writing!

    1. I am glad I was able to relate to others. And they just don’t realize how much they help us sometimes.Thank you for reading!

  5. Kudos to you for sharing your story. I love that you keep praying and trying. Isn’t that what we all should be doing before trying something that is hard for us? This morning I had two small kiddos crying and melting down while trying to leave an indoor gym. As I was walking by several parents, I just started laughing. When they saw that I found it funny, several moms and dads joked with me. For me, humor has been my saving grace.

  6. Thank you so much for sharing! Your article is so well written! I can relate to many of these feelings! It is nice to know we aren’t in this partenting world alone!!

  7. This sounds so isolating, Ian completely the opposite if I don’t get out every single day I will get a little crazy-I’m so sorry, I know that these are very real struggles for a lot of moms. It is commendable that you have such great love for your daughter that you force yourself to push through fear-that is true courage!

    1. Thank you so much. I wish I could just get out like that. And I know it’s important to do so. But yeah I do it for her. I don’t want her to be a hermit like me. Haha. Thanks for reading!

  8. This is so hard! Anxiety in general is tough…but social anxiety as a mom…that is really difficult and isolating! Wishing you all the best – you are so brave for posting this! Support is so important! Please reach out if you need additional support (I am a psychotherapist and have a mom blog http://www.themotherfix.com)!

  9. Being a mom pushes you to step up. To do the things you thought you can never do but knowing what’s best for your child gives you the courage to do so. I am shy on breastfeeding my baby in public before too. But you got to do, what you got to do… I love how honest this post is. Blogging is such a good outlet indeed.

    1. Thank you for reading. Yeah, blogging has really helped me to express myself, giving me that outlet. We mamas always do what’s best for our little one’s.

  10. Praying through it will definitely help! As long as you are there for your child, everything will be ok! It’s not what other think that’s most important but rather how your children view you as a mom!

  11. Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s awesome to see how our children change us and help us get out of our comfort zone. Social anxiety can be so crippling. It’s wonderful that your daughter motivates you to keep pushing through it. ❤

  12. Girl.
    I have the worst social anxiety. And just like you said, we have to push through for our kids.
    Like the want to go to the fair, or similar events that are crowded.
    I try to plan things like this on times or days that aren’t as crowded as others. But sometimes there’s nothing you can do. It’s rough.
    I know exactly how you feel. I don’t like the grocery store or restaurants either. And you can forget getting up in front of people.
    Prayer does help though, you’re right about that.
    Blessings –

    1. Yes exactly! I’m glad I’m not the only one. It is a struggle. But we have to just take one day at a time. Thank you for reading.

  13. I had social anxiety as a child. Throughout college, as an adult and in my career, I have been forced to step outside of that comfort zone A LOT more than I wish I had to. I have to speak in public quite often. The day of I cant even stomach eating lunch beforehand and I usually feel sick to my stomach. I am still very uncomfortable in public and hate going anywhere with people I don’t know. But I think that because my job forced me to be more social, I have learned to do it as a mom. My 5-year-old is now in the stage of going to birthday parties and I have to interact with other parents. Ugh, it’s the worst feeling for me. Thanks for sharing your experience.

  14. Wow. I follow your blog and I’m amazed at the response this one has gotten. It’s nice to see there are others dealing with similar things. I’m not a biological mom, I’m a stepmom, which is the hardest thing I’ve done in my life. Stepmoms are almost dehumanized as a person with deep capacity to love and Feel. So you take an already socially anxious person like myself and put them in that situation. Taking kids to school and their school sports , talking with teachers, and dealing with their actual Mom. If you didn’t have social anxiety before, this is good way to develop it… But pushing through, doing what was right, what needed to be done For Them made me stronger. It was very nice to see that others fight it too.

    1. Thank you for sharing this! I can only imagine what it’s like to be a stepmom and I love that you do what is needed for them. It takes a strong person to do that. Thank you for reading.

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