Social Anxiety as a Mother
Before I even was a mother, I had social anxiety. I didn’t know it at the time but I’ve had it as long as I remember. When I was younger I had a hard time talking with other people. I was known as the shy girl in my classes.
I remember one time when I was in high school I broke down and cried because I didn’t want to introduce myself to the class. So embarrassing! Just typing this up is making me blush. Haha.
Whenever my mom planned events for me whether it was a graduation party or my wedding reception, she made me go in front of the whole party and say “Thank you for coming.” or something along those lines. I was scared every time I did that. It wasn’t that I was ungrateful, I just didn’t like the attention on me.
I also had trouble going out anywhere by myself. I needed to have my brothers or my husband with me when going to the store for anything. There were things in my life where of course I had to do things on my own but if I had the opportunity, I always had someone with me.
If I am out with friends, I am always quiet and only talk when someone addresses me. I am afraid that if I say anything, it’s going to be judged or I’ll say something dumb. So I just keep quiet. I know it sounds silly but that’s how it made me feel.
I guess this is why I love blogging so much because I am able to express myself without that physical social environment.
Now I am a mother and things have really changed since then. The social anxiety is still there but having my daughter has helped me through it even though it can be so hard at times.
There will be times where we need to go to the store and I have to pray before going out the door because I am just scared of what might happen because babies and toddlers can be so unpredictable.
When my daughter throws a tantrum, I feel like all eyes are on me as I try to diffuse the situation. I try my best to focus only on her and get to the root of the problem to why she is upset. Sometimes I just get extremely overwhelmed and have to leave a place immediately before I break down.
Another thing I don’t like to do is eat out at restaurants. Just like I mentioned toddlers can be unpredictable. I honestly prefer to just go through the drive-thru or cook at home.
Trying not to let my social anxiety get the best of me
Despite all of that, my daughter is the one who pushes me to get out of the house because I know she needs that time outside. I have to do it for her. I would hate for my social anxiety to be the cause of her not being interested in the outdoors and playing in the sun, meeting other kids her age, or going out in general.
But I am working on it. I am trying.
Sometimes that’s all you can do is try. I feel as though things will get better when she gets older. When breastfeeding my daughter, for example, I did better than I thought I would in public because of that strong love of doing what is best for my baby girl.
Related: Shy while Breastfeeding in Public
That’s my motivating factor when it all comes down to it. I just hope to continue to pray and try.
Does this relate to any of you mamas? How do you deal with your social anxiety as a mom?